Do you have a strained or emotionally distant relationship with your adult daughter, not knowing what went wrong, let alone how to fix it?
Does your daughter ever snub you or act rudely even when you think your being kind and loving?
Do you crave a deeper and closer bond with her but question wheth- er there is even any hope for repair?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any or all the above, you are among millions of ten- der-loving moms who’ve lost the sugar-and-spice and everything nice with their adult daughters and who desperate desire help. But despair no longer–your res- cue guide has arrived!
Filled with examples and interviews from real-life mothers and daughters, an- ecdotes, exercises, and checklists combined with a tough love, yet compassionate tone, Sassy and Rude provides tangible advice for you to:
Connect the dots between your childhood wounds, your parenting style and your daughter’s sassy factor.
Gain deeper insight into your daughter’s wounded heart.
Stop power struggles once and for all by facing conflict in more constructive ways.
Accept responsibility for your own role in creating the rifts, leaving shame and guilt behind.
Generate realistic expectations coupled with loving boundaries.
The world, however, doesn’t always cooperate with us and sometimes we have to sacrifice what may well be our most favorite pastime– play! Plus, when we finally find the time to enjoy some fun, we won’t always be in sync with our partners, hence possibly leading to disappointment or conflict!
So you find yourself in a situation wherein you and your lover disagree more than occasionally on how to enjoy time together, here are six tips to help you freshen up your playtime!
1. Make sure that your partner isn’t avoiding contact with you for some unspoken reason. For instance, maybe you’ve made several attempts at having fun together but your “good time” has often deteriorated into a “bad time.” If there is something causing your partner to not want to hang out with you, address whatever it is ASAP!
2. Suggest options that appeal to both of you. If the two of you have varied interests without much overlap, you may need to exercise increased flexibility so that you both find playtime to be enjoyable. Consider taking turns picking the activity so that you each get your first choice evenly.
3. Once you settle on something to do together, even if it isn’t your favorite option, don’t complain. There is nothing worse than hanging out with a spoilsport.
4. Keep your expectations reasonable. Even highly compatible couples don’t always want to do the same thing, let alone at the same time.
5. Be empathetic toward your lover if he/she needs extra rest. Don’t take it personally. Just make sure that there isn’t something physically wrong causing fatigue. And remember: resting together can also sometimes be logged as playtime.
6. Remind your partner that a couple who plays together more likely stays together! Without any sort of pressure – state the importance of the relationship to you and how you want to do whatever you can to help it grow in a healthy way!
Now, most importantly, get in the sandbox and have some fun!!
And remember, attitudes are contagious. So, what would you like people to catch from you?
No one single “right” way exists on how to share your inner self with a lover. But certainly some ways are better than others. As a personal example, many moons ago, I went on a date with a guy I had a big crush on. Because of the out-of-control butterflies in my gut, I lost all of my composure and blurted out every skeleton from my closet as if giving him a costume preview for an upcoming horror movie! Outcome? No second date!
So how do you express your hidden truths without being overwhelming to another? Below are six tips:
Most importantly, as you begin your love affair remember that true intimacy requires fully knowing each other’s insides! So happy sharing!
You might ask, “Can I forgive someone whose behavior may have been despicable?” Well you can and must. Here’s how:
Once you practice the tips above– take a deep breath, inhaling your desire for healthy love, an intention to create it, and freedom and hope for the future. Then, release the breath, exhaling all negative feelings toward your ex. Most importantly, appreciate the blessings in your life today and create the fertile ground for the seeds of romance and love to bud and blossom in the future!
So unless you’re trying to find a way out–if you’re headed down relationship killer lane on any of these three paths, make a U-turn immediately!
What’s the secret to getting through your emotional heartache as quickly as possible? The number one rule: Don’t contact your ex, no matter what! Even if your toilet is overflowing and he has historically been you ever-available handyman, don’t text, don’t call, or reach out in any other way. “Why,” you might ask? Because our minds often play funny tricks on us. And contacting your ex will merely give you the illusion you are still in a relationship with him and, hence, prolong fully realizing and accepting the end of it. In fact, each time you contact him, you set yourself back two steps.
Whether or not you believe me- you have considerable control over how quickly you can bounce back and return to the game of love. But you need to take back your heart and recognize that he is an empty well for water! So what do you do instead to keep the forward momentum going?
If you want to heal like the speed of lightening rather than wallow in sorrow and self-pity, practice the following 3 tips.
Of course, refraining from contact with your ex is no easy task, especially if you are still in love with the dude. Even harder will be those days when you feel so desperate to hear his voice and believe that he is the only one who can make your pain disappear. But no matter how strong the urge becomes, you simply must say “no” to the impulse to contact him. And remember, there are plenty of good guys out there and love will come again!
So, for just this “special day,” try to get over yourself. Let your mom know you care. After all, you are an adult. You make your own choices. You have the power to stop the hurt and heal your own wounds now!