The world, however, doesn’t always cooperate with us and sometimes we have to sacrifice what may well be our most favorite pastime– play! Plus, when we finally find the time to enjoy some fun, we won’t always be in sync with our partners, hence possibly leading to disappointment or conflict!
So you find yourself in a situation wherein you and your lover disagree more than occasionally on how to enjoy time together, here are six tips to help you freshen up your playtime!
1. Make sure that your partner isn’t avoiding contact with you for some unspoken reason. For instance, maybe you’ve made several attempts at having fun together but your “good time” has often deteriorated into a “bad time.” If there is something causing your partner to not want to hang out with you, address whatever it is ASAP!
2. Suggest options that appeal to both of you. If the two of you have varied interests without much overlap, you may need to exercise increased flexibility so that you both find playtime to be enjoyable. Consider taking turns picking the activity so that you each get your first choice evenly.
3. Once you settle on something to do together, even if it isn’t your favorite option, don’t complain. There is nothing worse than hanging out with a spoilsport.
4. Keep your expectations reasonable. Even highly compatible couples don’t always want to do the same thing, let alone at the same time.
5. Be empathetic toward your lover if he/she needs extra rest. Don’t take it personally. Just make sure that there isn’t something physically wrong causing fatigue. And remember: resting together can also sometimes be logged as playtime.
6. Remind your partner that a couple who plays together more likely stays together! Without any sort of pressure – state the importance of the relationship to you and how you want to do whatever you can to help it grow in a healthy way!
Now, most importantly, get in the sandbox and have some fun!!
When people hear the words “pain” and “positivity” in the same sentence, they often react with “No way–that’s an oxymoron!” But the two experiences don’t have to be mutually exclusive!
Let me explain.
Recently, I threw out my back. Not the simple tweak (i.e., ice pack, anti-inflammatory, and a day of rest to relieve the discomfort), but rather the kind that inspires the all-out reaction of, “OMG–will I ever be able to walk pain-free again?!” By the 10th day of barely being able to care for myself without crying out in agony, my mind went to some pretty dark places. Fortunately, I’m one of the lucky ones since my back-condition only yields acute-pain (i.e., temporary rather than chronic). Plus, I have considerable control over flare-ups based on how I treat my body. But pain is pain and what I learned is that our mind-set and our actions toward pain directly correlate with how we end up feeling. Hence, if we approach pain with doom and gloom, our pain might worsen. But if we stay hopeful and create proactive solutions, we might very well find ourselves feeling less pain!
While my heart goes out to anyone who experiences suffering and I certainly understand that simple quick fix tips won’t help everyone, for those who experience temporary discomfort (be it physical or even emotional), below are some ideas/actions on how to turn negative thoughts surrounding pain into some level of positivity.
Most importantly, remember that a little bit of light can go along way!
And remember, attitudes are contagious. So, what would you like people to catch from you?
What’s the secret to getting through your emotional heartache as quickly as possible? The number one rule: Don’t contact your ex, no matter what! Even if your toilet is overflowing and he has historically been you ever-available handyman, don’t text, don’t call, or reach out in any other way. “Why,” you might ask? Because our minds often play funny tricks on us. And contacting your ex will merely give you the illusion you are still in a relationship with him and, hence, prolong fully realizing and accepting the end of it. In fact, each time you contact him, you set yourself back two steps.
Whether or not you believe me- you have considerable control over how quickly you can bounce back and return to the game of love. But you need to take back your heart and recognize that he is an empty well for water! So what do you do instead to keep the forward momentum going?
If you want to heal like the speed of lightening rather than wallow in sorrow and self-pity, practice the following 3 tips.
Of course, refraining from contact with your ex is no easy task, especially if you are still in love with the dude. Even harder will be those days when you feel so desperate to hear his voice and believe that he is the only one who can make your pain disappear. But no matter how strong the urge becomes, you simply must say “no” to the impulse to contact him. And remember, there are plenty of good guys out there and love will come again!
If this speaks to you – try the following quick tips:
So here’s to a funk and gunk-free, slam dunk New Year. Now there’s a mouthful!
Are you someone who makes New Year resolutions but tend not to follow through? If you answered “yes,” you certainly wouldn’t be alone! In my experience, both professionally and personally, most people rarely make changes in their behavioral patterns simply because of a specified “date.” While positive intentions motivate the aspiration, specific dates and times of the year have no real power to actually press forth a desire to change. Rather, the capacity to make changes comes from igniting an internal fire!
So rather than stating a laundry list of resolutions for the upcoming New Year, get honest with yourself today and initiate one small step toward a goal you’ve been coveting. First, do whatever it takes to get your mood modified so that you will be successful at whatever change you undertake. And then, as said by the Nike marketers, “Just Do It.” For instance, if you want to lose 5 pounds, practice a meditation daily where you visualize fat shedding from your body. Then translate that into a behavioral modification: don’t eat that extra piece of apple pie or that handful of white-chocolate-peppermint covered pretzels at your company’s holiday party. Rather, opt for the veggie platter with a small sampling of the other goodies. Or if you desire engaging in a new hobby in your spare time, like making ceramic bowls, rather than searching for the perfect class at just the right time to fit your schedule, go out and buy some Play-doh and go at it!
Most importantly, remember it is you who controls whether or not you move toward or away from your goals. While life’s circumstances can certainly make our lives harder or easier, don’t forget you are still in the driver’s seat of your life. So, choose and change at your will!
Some people have always had a “Scrooge-like” attitude toward “tis-the-season-to-be…” whereas others may have once welcomed the winter gatherings but have now developed negative sentiments because of various life events. For instance, up until four years ago, I had always looked forward to year-end celebrations. But then, my father passed smack dab in the middle of the holiday season. While it was clearly time for my pops to let go and say “goodbye”, I now experience bittersweet feelings when this time of year approaches—a mixture of both joy and a sense of loss and sadness.
The holidays can also raise levels of angst because family members don’t get along or because someone doesn’t have family and friends close by. If you’re somebody who cringes at the sight of penguins on wrapping paper or shelves of menorahs begging to be bought, it just might be time to generate or rekindle some holiday spirit. Try the following six mood modifiers:
Ok – so maybe you won’t be “dashing through the snow…laughing all the way,” but at least you won’t be saying “bah humbug!”
Does your life sometimes feel overwhelmingly difficult? Do you sometimes wake up in a mood that resembles the roar of a grizzly bear? Don’t despair – you can get yourself back on track with just a few simple tasks.
Of course, I’m teasing when I infer that anyone actually favors or likes being in a state of worry, but I want to get your attention because, while you may not enjoy worrying, you’ve become attached in some way to your fears and concerns. But, just as you can “unfollow” someone on Twitter, or block someone from your Facebook, you can learn to “unfriend” one of the enemies of the mind—i.e., preoccupation!
Clearly, you aren’t the first or only person on the planet to become somewhat obsessive about the details of life. After all, we live in a complicated world with many pressures and stressors. But worrying about things we have no control over – namely, the past or the future, is a recipe for disaster! Plus it breeds, not only emotional discomfort and anxiety (fearing danger when there is none), but a whole lot of other bodily ailments such as: sleepless nights, headaches, muscle tension, and loss of motivation. That’s not to say that planning for the future and/or assessing mistakes made in the past and learning from them doesn’t have great value. But dwelling on something that hasn’t happened yet (and may never happen) or being mired in regret over things that have already passed, will only thwart your ability to enjoy the present moment and deprive you of peace and joy.
So if you’re ready to start occupying your mind more productively, try the following 7 tips:
Now sit back, think happy thoughts, and take life one-step at a time!