Do you have a strained or emotionally distant relationship with your adult daughter, not knowing what went wrong, let alone how to fix it?
Does your daughter ever snub you or act rudely even when you think your being kind and loving?
Do you crave a deeper and closer bond with her but question wheth- er there is even any hope for repair?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any or all the above, you are among millions of ten- der-loving moms who’ve lost the sugar-and-spice and everything nice with their adult daughters and who desperate desire help. But despair no longer–your res- cue guide has arrived!
Filled with examples and interviews from real-life mothers and daughters, an- ecdotes, exercises, and checklists combined with a tough love, yet compassionate tone, Sassy and Rude provides tangible advice for you to:
Connect the dots between your childhood wounds, your parenting style and your daughter’s sassy factor.
Gain deeper insight into your daughter’s wounded heart.
Stop power struggles once and for all by facing conflict in more constructive ways.
Accept responsibility for your own role in creating the rifts, leaving shame and guilt behind.
Generate realistic expectations coupled with loving boundaries.
The world, however, doesn’t always cooperate with us and sometimes we have to sacrifice what may well be our most favorite pastime– play! Plus, when we finally find the time to enjoy some fun, we won’t always be in sync with our partners, hence possibly leading to disappointment or conflict!
So you find yourself in a situation wherein you and your lover disagree more than occasionally on how to enjoy time together, here are six tips to help you freshen up your playtime!
1. Make sure that your partner isn’t avoiding contact with you for some unspoken reason. For instance, maybe you’ve made several attempts at having fun together but your “good time” has often deteriorated into a “bad time.” If there is something causing your partner to not want to hang out with you, address whatever it is ASAP!
2. Suggest options that appeal to both of you. If the two of you have varied interests without much overlap, you may need to exercise increased flexibility so that you both find playtime to be enjoyable. Consider taking turns picking the activity so that you each get your first choice evenly.
3. Once you settle on something to do together, even if it isn’t your favorite option, don’t complain. There is nothing worse than hanging out with a spoilsport.
4. Keep your expectations reasonable. Even highly compatible couples don’t always want to do the same thing, let alone at the same time.
5. Be empathetic toward your lover if he/she needs extra rest. Don’t take it personally. Just make sure that there isn’t something physically wrong causing fatigue. And remember: resting together can also sometimes be logged as playtime.
6. Remind your partner that a couple who plays together more likely stays together! Without any sort of pressure – state the importance of the relationship to you and how you want to do whatever you can to help it grow in a healthy way!
Now, most importantly, get in the sandbox and have some fun!!
No one single “right” way exists on how to share your inner self with a lover. But certainly some ways are better than others. As a personal example, many moons ago, I went on a date with a guy I had a big crush on. Because of the out-of-control butterflies in my gut, I lost all of my composure and blurted out every skeleton from my closet as if giving him a costume preview for an upcoming horror movie! Outcome? No second date!
So how do you express your hidden truths without being overwhelming to another? Below are six tips:
Most importantly, as you begin your love affair remember that true intimacy requires fully knowing each other’s insides! So happy sharing!
Whether you’re entrenched in a dead-end job, a stale relationship, an empty house after your children have launched, or some other unfulfilling circumstance, you can make quick and simple changes to help you feel more excited about life right now! Try the following tips:
Most Importantly, trust in your own resources! You can do it! But always remember you cannot control other people, places, or things, only your own reaction to them. And, you are responsible for being proactive in your life-so don’t wait around for a magic wand to make things better!
(Note – if you suffer from depression or debilitating anxiety and don’t believe you can make the changes you desire, please seek professional help.)
So unless you’re trying to find a way out–if you’re headed down relationship killer lane on any of these three paths, make a U-turn immediately!
So, for just this “special day,” try to get over yourself. Let your mom know you care. After all, you are an adult. You make your own choices. You have the power to stop the hurt and heal your own wounds now!
Do you run from commitment like a rabbit feverishly zig-zagging to avoid the bite of a wild dog? Do you believe you desire an intimate relationship but repeatedly find yourself choosing mates who ultimately lead you toward a dead end street? Or do you date people who give you signals, loudly and clearly, that they don’t want a long-term relationship thereby allowing you to camouflage your own skittishness about taking a relationship to the next level? In any case, you may be suffering from commitment phobia or “CP”.
CP may manifest consciously or unconsciously. With the former, you recognize your fear of long-term intimacy and you either avoid relationships altogether or you may casually date but chronically deal with a fear of being smothered or losing your identity/independence. With the latter, you may repeatedly sabotage any chance of a long-lasting serious relationship or pick others who do the same, all the while not recognizing your own discomfort at the thought of commitment.
If one of these scenarios describes you, please don’t be embarrassed or think less of yourself! Millions and millions of people experience anxiety when contemplating taking the step from casual dating to a more intimate level and long-term decision. But it doesn’t help to simply identify yourself as a commitment-phobe. In fact, simply holding onto a label such as CP can keep you stuck in a cycle of avoiding relationships and/or perpetuating chronic starts and stops, never being truly intimate with anyone.
If you want to give up the phobic position and move toward becoming a commitment-seeker (so you can finally be able to enjoy the many benefits of long-lasting love), please embrace the following tips:
Also, it’s ok to choose to go through periods of your life solo. Just make sure your choice to do so makes sense andis not just dictated by fear! Most importantly – remember Rome was not built in a day! If you’ve lived a fairly extensive period of your life embroiled in CP – it may take a bit of time and practice to disembroil yourself within its trenches. If these tips don’t help solve the issue, please seek professional relationship counseling so you won’t keep heading down break-up lane!
If this speaks to you – try the following quick tips:
So here’s to a funk and gunk-free, slam dunk New Year. Now there’s a mouthful!