Romance

Is the Honeymoon Over? Ten Tips to Keeping the Romance Alive

Falling in love is like an orgasm on crack! (Not that I have actually done crack—but you get the picture.) The process is known to be as powerful as an aphrodisiac. The sky seems bluer, the honey tastes sweeter, and yesterday’s problems fade to black. I’ve even seen many severely depressed people suddenly become hopeful and more positive about their futures once magically kissed by the splendor of love as if a double shot of Prozac had been directly injected in their brains.

Can this phase go on forever? Unlikely – but it doesn’t have to end entirely! True, some would say that the crossover from romantic love/falling in love to mature love can be a grand disappointment–maybe somewhat akin to Cinderella’s carriage turning back into a pumpkin. But why can’t the pumpkin be turned into a delicious pie? It can, if you practice the following 10 tips.

1. Reengage in courting practices. Courting is a behavioral practice that should be continued across the course of a relationship. Send love notes, cute text messages, create fun rituals for renewing your commitment to one another. Pick a flower and put it on his/her pillow before bed. Random acts of kindness can go a long way!
2. Always be curious about your partner. Understand that as much as we can get to know another person – there is always more to understand! As humans we have an ebb and flow of different feelings and thoughts on a daily basis–so get to know your partner every day!
3. Compliment your lover daily. Trade expectation for appreciation. We are all so prone to focusing on negativity, but it’s the positive comments that make us grow and shine.
4. Make sure to touch each other often. Even when we are annoyed, we benefit from physical affection because it grounds us back into a place of softness and that usually leads to more intimacy.
5. Spend at least ten minutes a day facing one another with concentrated eye contact while sharing something about you from your heart. When couples gaze into each other’s eyes, they are reminded of how special and important they are to one another.
6. Stop romanticizing the honeymoon phase! It doesn’t last forever and while it is beautiful and wonderful so too can be the security of having your tried-and-true partner by your side, day after day.
7. Communicate when something troubles you. Otherwise you’re likely to create a pile of resentments–a surefire way to deaden the intimacy.
8. Be open to making changes in your behavior to please you partner. If your goal is to keep your love fully alive, then don’t be stubborn for the sake of being right!
9. Remember that couples who play together are more likely to stay together! Do something unusual – change it up a bit – find a sport you both like to do pick a game do a crossword puzzle. Just have fun!
10. Spend a little time apart now and again! Sure most of us necessarily need to be apart from our lover simply because of work – but sometimes it’s good to separate during non-work hours, too. But not for too long – while absence makes the heart grow fonder – so too can absence make the heart go wander.

So if that flitter of butterflies in your stomach starts to wither – don’t despair! You can regenerate the romance by taking proactive and loving steps to keep you and your lover’s heart a twitter!