Make Mother’s Day Happy, Despite Unhappy Memories with Mom

Hallmark cards abound with sentiments of love, appreciation and joy; yet so many of us have had strained relationships with our moms. Some have suffered abuse and neglect, whereas others feel they were controlled and unappreciated. For those of you who fall into this category – it may be harder for you to engage in the celebration of Mother’s Day. However, unless the patterns of abuse or dysfunction were so severe that the relationship was entirely null and voided, you can apply a few tips to bypass your resentment and show some love.

Think positively. More than likely, your mom filled up your cup to some degree. Reflect on a few of the good times with her.
Make a list of three things you appreciate about your mom. You can share these by writing a gratitude list in a blank card or sending an email.
Put your mom in a context. Many parents had highly dysfunctional and/or abusive childhood them selves and never had good role models for how to parent. Try to remember that for the most part, your mom probably tried to do the best she could with the tools and resources available to her at the time.
Practice empathy. If you are a parent – think about all the times in which you behaved less than ideally in raising your own children. If you are not a parent, I’m sure you have not been your stellar self in every relationship. Remember we are all human.

So, for just this “special day,” try to get over yourself. Let your mom know you care. After all, you are an adult. You make your own choices. You have the power to stop the hurt and heal your own wounds now!