8 Tips to Finding the Right Therapist

Are you thinking of taking the plunge into psychotherapy, but you’re not sure where to begin? Or, have you ever had a less than positive therapy experience, even a really bad one, because you didn’t know what to look for in a therapist or how to adequately screen for one? If you’ve answered “yes” to either or both of the above questions, you’re not alone. And, hopefully this article will give you some pointers for how to find a therapist who is a good match for you.

Regardless of the growing strictness in regulating people’s business, we live in an age where just about anyone can call her/himself a healer or therapist, even if she/he has no qualifications or credentials. And while many of these people may be well-intended, they may actually cause more harm than good. Even within the realm of qualified, licensed psychotherapists there exist many professionals who should probably consider moving into another field or retiring altogether.

Trust me. I’ve heard all sorts of horror stories of people who’ve endured bad therapy experiences (e.g. the therapist falls asleep during sessions, shows up repeatedly late and blames the clients, or encourages clients to continue therapy just because the therapist needs to fill the hour). While these are obviously negligent professionals, even some really great therapists who are highly competent and ethical aren’t a good match for all potential clients.

Because we usually seek help when we’re in a vulnerable state, we may not even recognize when we’re not receiving adequate care. Thus, we can easily be taken advantage of by people who are just looking to make a buck and/or who don’t truly care about their well-being. But don’t despair! With a little extra homework on your part and practicing the tips below, you can at least safeguard yourself from a therapy nightmare. And if you do end up in psychotherapy with someone you believe is harming you or who isn’t helping you, trust your instincts and seek consultation from someone else.

Here we go:

1. Check the therapist’s credentials. The categories of people who are qualified to provide psychotherapy include: a psychologist (holds a Ph.D. or Psy.D. and has been licensed at the doctoral level), an M.F.T. (someone who’s been licensed at the masters level who may or may not also hold a Ph.D.), an L.C.S.W. (clinical social worker also licensed at a masters level who may or may not also hold a Ph.D.) and a psychiatrist (an M.D. who’s been licensed to prescribe medicine). All psychiatrists can prescribe medication, but only some are also trained to provide psychotherapy.

2. If you’ve been referred to an unlicensed practitioner such as a life coach, make sure the person has solid references. For example, the two most popular media personalities, Dr. Laura and Dr. Phil, do not have licenses to practice psychotherapy. They merely offer advice within an entertainment context. Yet many people would swear by their advice, seeing it as being as good as gold. Just be cautious, however, in seeking help from an unlicensed “healer” as you will not be protected by any regulatory board that monitors ethical practices or important things like confidentiality. In other words, you won’t have a leg to stand on should you be wronged or harmed and wish to seek some kind of restitution.

3. Find out the professional’s areas of expertise or specialties. Many therapists have a broad range of experience, especially if they’ve been practicing for a number of years. But some have very specialized education and training in particular areas (e.g., depression, anxiety, dealing with grief/loss, coping with a spouse who has a mental condition, or post-traumatic stress disorder, to name just a few). If you’re seeking therapy for a particular issue or condition, try to find someone who really knows her stuff in that area.

4. Do your homework about philosophy and practice. There are as many orientations and styles of psychotherapies as there are brands of cereals. Do some research and get acquainted with the various methods and theoretical backgrounds. Some therapists only practice within one particular school of thought whereas others have a more eclectic style, combining a number of different treatment methods and modalities. Some therapies focus more on how a person’s past effects her current behavior (e.g., psychoanalytic, psychodynamic, object-relations, self-psychology), others focus more on present environment with far less concern for history (e.g., cognitive, behavioral, rational-emotive, gestalt). Each style has certain advantages and disadvantages depending on the nature of your issues and your own expectations.

5. Be proactive in thinking about your goals. Are you seeking a guidance counselor, or are you seeking in-depth self analysis? Do you want someone who actively listens but refrains from giving too much input or do you want someone who will say what he thinks and will actively give direction on how to change? Do you want a deep understanding of the origins of your issues or just tools to cope better in the present? Answering these questions can help give you a better idea of what you’re hoping to gain, and hence less chance of disappointment from the therapy. For instance if you’re seeking active advice better to not begin with a therapist who mainly provides a good listening ear and empathy, but who won’t give suggestions.

6. Do some therapist shopping before affirmatively deciding on one. Just like most people don’t go out and buy the first car they see without a test drive and some comparative shopping, selecting the first therapist off a list may not serve you very well. Though this can sometimes work out just fine if the person came very highly recommended by a trusted source, you should probably consider at least making an initial appointment with a few different therapists or at least interviewing a few over the phone. Then based on information and intuition, make a decision. And always keep in mind that you are free to end any therapeutic relationship if it’s not working out for you.

7. Don’t settle for a “head nodder.” While it’s a good idea to seek a therapist whom you believe understands you, it’s also a good idea to find someone who will challenge you to some degree. After all, you’re most likely seeking help to be able to grow and improve your life and while it may feel the best to just be validated, it’s often through experiencing some discomfort that we make the most meaningful changes.

8. Be realistic. Psychotherapists are not mind-readers and they don’t offer magical cures. You need to take positive action toward your own well-being by actually making the suggested changes. It’s not reasonable to expect that you will grow and thrive if you don’t apply what you learn in therapy outside of the sessions. If you try out what you learn and it turns out not to work for you, then speak up. Most good therapists will welcome your feedback and modify their approach if they’re able. And should a conflict in style or expectations emerge and you’re not getting anywhere in your healing process, you can ask for referral